


Soldiers have a Bad Habit of Dying

by BrightTerror



Series: BrightTerror's 2020 Whumptober [11]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Canon Divergence through s1, Canon-Typical Violence, David "Dave" Katz Lives, Family Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Klaus Hargreeves, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Klaus Hargreeves & David "Dave" Katz During Vietnam, M/M, Not Season 2 Compliant, Not really but it could be interpreted as such so im tagging it to be safe, Temporary Character Death, Temporary character death is for Klaus bc he can't die, Vietnam War, nonbinary klaus hargreeves, they use he/they pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27027553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrightTerror/pseuds/BrightTerror
Summary: Day 15  INTO THE UNKNOWN (Magical Healing)The many times Klaus has died and how his family found out.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Luther Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves/David "Dave" Katz, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Series: BrightTerror's 2020 Whumptober [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948378
Comments: 6
Kudos: 329
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Soldiers have a Bad Habit of Dying

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is not beta read, sorry for any typos and errors.  
> This follows the plot of season one with certain changes, because I could not kill Dave.

Klaus Hargreeves had a bad habit of dying. It wasn’t his fault, at least not most of the time. He was just dealt with the bad luck of being raised by a cold and heartless billionaire who treated them like shit and sent them to dangerous situations since they were kids. He was raised a child soldier and soldiers had a bad habit of dying, didn’t they?

Funny for him the first time he died was not in a battle zone. Yeah, he died in battle multiple times but that came  _ later _ . No, the first time he died was at the hands of his own father. 

Klaus was only twelve at the time. They started to become rebellious, started talking back to Reginald and most importantly started to create his own personality and wear what suits them best. 

He had raided Allison’s closet and borrowed a nice fashionable coat, then borrowed some heels from Grace. He was feeling his best and was strutting along the corridors as the heels clacked on the ground when Reginald appeared; who was wearing his usual monocle, hat and cane and had a look of disappointment on his face. This wasn’t new to him. He always looked at Number Four as if he was his biggest disappointment. And in his eyes, he truly believed he was. 

However, instead of giving him a stern look and walking away, he thwacked Klaus with his cane and made him trip and fall down the stairs. Only after that did he keep walking away, not stopping to check if the kid was okay or alive. He called a mission shortly after, so none of the other kids were in the house when Grace patched him up. 

Klaus had fallen down the stairs and hit the back of his head hard enough to kill him. He must have damaged his brainstem. The fall also made him break his jaw when he hit his face against the railing of the staircase, but that was the least important thing at the moment. He was dead; a broken jaw didn’t matter anymore. 

Klaus woke up in the infirmary a few hours later with his jaw sewn shut. Grace had a reassuring smile on her face and told him he was going to have to rest for 12 weeks until he got better. He never knew he died then, and it wouldn’t have made a difference either way if he knew. His siblings would not believe him anyway. 

They only died once more in his childhood, when they were 13. They were locked in the mausoleum again, he died of pure fear. Seeing and feeling the ghosts scream and claw at him, with their mushed, bloody faces, was too much. Reginald locked him up longer than usual and his poor heart gave out. 

He didn’t realise he died of course, there was no one living around and he didn’t believe the ghosts who told him he joined them in the non-living world. He only thought he passed out. Reginald didn’t even notice anything strange when he unlocked the doors to let him out in the morning. 

The next time they died—and found out they couldn’t stay dead— was when they were thirty years old. They had just come out of mandatory rehab and immediately headed out to buy more drugs. It wasn’t their choice at this point, it was the only way to keep  _ them  _ away. The ghosts would shut up and disappear the more he consumed, so they did what they had to in order to cope. 

Ben was disappointed in him as usual. Well, he was worried for his sibling that was throwing his life away and all he wanted to do was help him. Unbeknownst to both of them, the reason why he didn’t die at all in his twenties was because Ben was making sure Klaus never crossed the limit. He would stop him if he got too far. 

Not this time. As soon as Klaus got out of rehab he bought as much drugs as he could. He had no sense of self preservation and he wasn’t entirely against dying, so he didn’t think much of it when he consumed all he had in one sitting. 

The realization he had fucked up hit him when it was too late. He had taken too much and there was no out of it. He was laying in an alleyway somewhere and all he could see was Ben’s panicked face trying to talk to him, he didn’t hear anything though, he was too busy dying. 

He woke up in the back of an ambulance with a jolt. He laughed and high fived the paramedic with his ‘ _ hello’  _ hand. Next thing he was aware of was the small tv next to the medic with the news on; he cackled when he heard the reporter break the news of Reginald Hargreeves’ death. He laughed and tried to make his eyes focus on the small screen. The old man had finally died. He only hoped Old Reggie didn’t bother him in the afterlife too. 

It only occurred to him  _ later  _ that there was no way he could have survived. Ben thought so too and told him he was so sure Klaus had died. Neither of them thought much of it, Reginald’s funeral and Five coming back were much more important things to think about. 

The next time he died was the first time he died as a soldier, on an actual battlefield. He had just been sent back in time to The Vietnam War after being tortured by the two psychopaths chasing Five. 

This was when he absolutely, one hundred percent realised he couldn’t die. He got shot in the head nine days after he arrived. He was still going through withdrawals and he wasn’t thinking well when he wandered through the jungle straight into an ambush.. 

They retreated as soon as they could but not fast enough. Klaus’ helmet wasn’t good enough to stop the bullets from the various machine guns shooting at him. 

That’s the first time they remembered the afterlife. The first time they met God, she told them she didn't like them. Next thing they know, they are waking up, gunshot wounds healed, in the middle of a forest at night. They had to make their way back to the camp by themself, well, not by themself if the ghosts counted. 

Klaus had a lot to think about, but it wasn’t the time or place for it. He had a war to fight. 

He lost count of how many times he got killed. As time went on, he got more and more recognition amongst his troop. He saved all their asses so many times by warning them before they stepped on a landmine that no one saw, telling them when the enemy was closing in or hiding nearby before anyone else sees it. They asked him about it yet didn't believe him when he told them it was the ghosts that warned him. 

The more recognition he got, the more he was sent on missions. Sometimes they were easy sometimes it was a suicide mission. But no matter what, he always came back. Sometimes he was the only one who made it, a haunted look on his face every time. It a;ways took him some time to adjust to who was dead and who wasn't, after all he still saw them around, bloody and hurt. The problem was, it’s war, even living people looked like that. 

Sometimes he returned from missions with survivors who spoke wonders of him. Recounting stories of how he saved them by shielding them with his body, or by attacking the enemy when no one else saw them and prevented them from killing his troop mates. 

Even if they were too flamboyant for the sixties, loud and couldn’t keep his and Dave’s relationship a secret if their life depended on him, he had people there for him. His squad overlooked all that made him stand out, after all, Klaus had saved them enough times and had proved himself time and time again. He was one of them. They had his back even if others didn’t agree. 

They didn’t know how many times they were killed. But one particular time stood out for them: the time Dave found out. 

They had gone out on a rescue mission together. Just the two of them. Three men from their platoon had been taken hostage and they were the unlucky ones who got sent to retrieve them. 

They were walking through the jungle, trying their best to look out for landmines to avoid getting blown up. Pretty standard as usual. Though Klaus didn’t like when Dave accompanied him on missions, he knew neither of them had a choice in the matter, this was war after all. But he didn’t like it one bit. Klaus tried his best to look out for everyone and be on the lookout to what the ghosts were saying but with Dave he was always fearing for the time where he couldn’t save him. It was always too risky. 

Not every ghost wanted to help out, which was a problem on its own. Some were just wandering around waiting for the others to get blown off or to walk directly into an ambush that they knew was coming. Klaus did not like those ghosts at all, but he had to admit those were the ones who had the best intel if he listened to them close enough. 

So here he was, walking and talking with Dave when he heard a new ghost began to snicker at them. Klaus had been here long enough to know something bad was about to happen. 

He heard a click a few feet away and figured a rodent or something must have activated a landmine. He automatically jumped on Dave and shielded him away with his body. The last thing he remembered was the burning, painful sensation of metal encrusting itself into his flesh and the loud ringing in his ears. 

Dave saw everything happen in the blink of an eye. One second, they were walking with their guns on the ready, then Klaus had stopped walking and looked like he was listening to someone talk in front of him. Dave knew he sometimes had the tendency to talk to the air, he didn’t mind it though. It was what made Klaus, well, Klaus. 

The next moment Klaus was throwing himself at him and shielding him as a landmine went off a few feet away. Dave didn’t have time to process what was happening when they both got sent flying back and fell down on the ground. 

Dave’s ears were ringing, and he was trying to stand up to grab his shotgun in case they were attacked. He didn’t know what triggered the explosion or if there were people coming after them. All he knew was he had to get him and Klaus out of there. 

Next thing he saw  _ horrified  _ him. When he looked around for his partner, he saw Klaus laying still on the ground and there was  _ a lot of blood  _ around him. Dave immediately crouched down and saw there was a piece of shrapnel encased on Klaus’s back that was bleeding profoundly.  _ No, no, no _ . Dave thought. He carefully turned Klaus around so that his face was facing upwards and choked on a sob when he saw the piece of metal was piercing through him, leaving a hole in his chest and judging by the lack of extra blood oozing out of him, Dave knew his partner was dead. 

_ No, no, no. This can’t be happening.  _ Dave shook him crying for him to wake up, but it was no use. Klaus was dead, half his chest was missing, and he was sure most of his blood was sputtered out on the outside than on the inside. He wanted to call for a medic but chances were there was no one near for miles. 

Dave could not bring himself to care about anything else around him. Logically, he knew he had to leave before the others were alarmed of the explosion, but he couldn’t leave, he couldn’t leave him…  _ his corpse _ to rot there. 

Dave didn’t care he was wasting energy; he would carry Klaus back to the base at least. However, when he went to carry him, he jolted back and fell on his ass when Klaus jolted forward and he took a deep breath, gasping for air. 

“Ah fuck. Explosion wounds always hurt like a bitch.” Klaus shivered. “I hate those.”

Dave thought he had officially lost it. There was no way Klaus was alive after the rough shape he was in just a few seconds before. He heard stories of soldiers losing their minds because it was all too much to handle but he honestly didn’t think he would lose it  _ this  _ soon. Klaus was dead. He had been dead. There was no way Klaus was alive. But here he was, in front of him complaining about explosion wounds as if it wasn’t a big deal. “What the ever-loving fuck.”

“Hi Davey, dear.” Klaus looked at him and smiled goofily before his face contorted to a worried expression. “Oh, you had to watch that.” He realised. “Dave, Davey... I’m okay. I swear, I’m alive. And so, are you so we have to get out of here okay? I’ll explain later.”

“You died.” Dave said. He wasn’t moving from where he was and just stared at him.

“I’m alive  _ now _ . Which is what matters.” He argued. “Please let’s go. people with guns are on their way and we can’t be here when they do.” 

Dave didn’t even know how Klaus got that information, but he numbly nodded and let himself be dragged by Klaus. They both began walking away, Dave half in reality, half lost in thought. 

“Yeah. I’ll let you speak with him for getting out of there. I know the deal, Paul. But first get us out of here and then we can negotiate.” Klaus spoke to the air. Dave wasn’t sure how long he zoned out but when he realised where they were, he saw Klaus was talking to the air as usual. 

“You can see things that aren’t there right? You’re speaking to something?”

“Eyy! Look at that, Davey is back.” Klaus held a hand for a high five and sadly put it down when Dave just stared at him. “I’m talking to Paul by the way. He has been pestering me to let him communicate to everyone in the division after getting blown up last week. He says Hi.” He waved his hand with the  _ hello _ tattoo on it. 

Dave blinked at him. He was so very lost, but then again him talking to the dead would not be the weirdest thing to happen today. “So, you speak to the dead?”

Klaus gave him a mix between a grin and a grimace. “Yeah. I have the unfortunate misfortune of speaking to ghosties. Unless I’m high, which is usually why I am high as a kite when I am back home. It’s very difficult to find the good shit in the middle of a jungle.” Klaus rambled. 

“And you died.” Dave repeated. 

“Yeah. That isn’t actually my power, not as far as I know. God doesn’t like me. She says I am not one of her favourite creations and sends me back every time. She is kinda rude, you know? ‘Klaus you have to stop dying so much. This isn’t a vacation; you have to stop.’” He imitated a squeaky voice and then groaned. “I honestly just tell her to leave me be. I’m in a war and it’s better if I am the one who dies rather than anyone else. At least I can come back.”

Dave’s heart broke and was even more worried than before. “Klaus how many times have you died?” He breathed out, holding his hand tight. 

“Eh.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Lost count. Most of the times happened here. Although God said I had visited her before, which I don’t remember but now that I think about it there’s a few instances in my childhood where I might have died.” Klaus was thoughtful for a second before shrugging it off with his hand. “But that doesn’t matter. We are both here, alive and we have to keep it like that. C’mon. We are almost there.”

Dave knew the conversation wasn’t over, but he would let this slide. They both had been blown up, so they deserved to lay off the interrogation for a bit. 

After that incident, Klaus ended up telling him everything about himself and his family. He told Dave about the Umbrella Academy, about the mausoleum, his life the past ten years and how he ended 50 years in the past. 

Klaus died a few more times in the course of the next few months until he and Dave decided to go to the future before Dave got himself killed. After a close call—where Klaus covered Dave again and ended up dying with a gunshot wound to his chest—they knew they had to leave. So, when Klaus came back to life, they took the suitcase and left. 

After they went back in time to 2019, Klaus only died three more times. The first time was after he went looking for a very drunk Luther at a rave. He and Dave had split up to look for him when they realised he was gone. 

Klaus and Ben found him at the rave and tried his best to help him out. Especially after Luther danced with someone else’s lady and some dudes wanted to beat him up. 

Klaus tried his best to fight them, but everything went black when they threw him backwards and there was a rather crunchy hit to his head. When he woke up Ben was staring at him worriedly and he was using Dave as a pillow. He didn’t know how Dave found them but was glad he was there. 

Afterwards, they managed to stop the upcoming apocalypse, who knew having a competent, objective adult could help them save the world. They figured out Vanya had powers and helped her out instead of locking her up. There were no casualties that day, except for Cha Cha. 

The next time he died was unexpected and totally mundane for once. Diego was driving him at 2 in the morning to get some snacks. Dave had been sleeping and Klaus wanted food, so he was getting ready to leave when Diego offered him a ride. To be honest, Diego wanted to sleep too, but he wasn’t entirely trusting that his brother wasn’t going to get high—even though Klaus was almost a year sober. So, he drove him himself. 

They went to the store with no complications, Klaus got some twinkies and powdered donuts that he wanted. It was on the way back when it all went downhill. 

Klaus was eating his donuts while Diego complained about the mess his car was in because of it, when a truck hit them through the passenger’s seat and sent the car spinning. 

Diego felt the glass shards cut his skin and his head hit the steering wheel—because he had a faulty car that had no airbags. When the spinning stopped, and once he was able to be aware of his surroundings again, he looked over to Klaus. 

Klaus was sitting in the passenger’s seat, eyes open and dead, with blood coming up from his mouth. He had a hit on the head but what was most disturbing was a large piece of glass lodged onto his neck, bleeding profusely. 

Diego’s eyes blurred from tears and the probable concussion he had. “K-Klaus. W-w-wake up.” He stuttered. His stutter always got worse when he got emotional. He tried to picture the words in his mind just like his mom had taught him and tried again. “Klaus? Y-you cannot b-be dead.” He took off his seatbelt and tried and failed to stop the bleeding from his brother. 

Then Klaus blinked hard and grimaced as the glass in his throat was pushed out by his own skin. “Ugh. Throat kills are at the bottom of my list on how to die. It’s not pleasant. Never doing that again.”

Diego stared at him in shock and blinked back tears, his worry and sadness morphed into anger and he yelled. “Klaus  _ what  _ the  _ hell _ ?”

After getting home and a few concerned shouting matches, Klaus told him everything—he might have excluded certain points like how many times he had  _ actually  _ died— and begged Diego to not tell their siblings anything. 

Klaus slept the entire next day, cuddled to Dave because dying really took out a toll on him and at least this time he wasn’t dying in war and could actually rest. 

_____

The last time he died, so far, was a few months after the averted apocalypse. It wasn’t his fault really; he was just protecting his siblings from the evil suit guys—as Klaus called them. 

After they stopped the apocalypse, the commission wasn’t happy and therefore sent various employees to kill them. Well, they wanted to kill Five and the rest were collateral damage. Usually, Five would take care of it before it became a problem but not this time. 

They were all hanging out at Grady’s. It didn’t belong to Agnes anymore, but it was rebuilt after it was blown up; it became the Hargreeves usual spot to hang out just like when they were kids. There was no one around but them. 

Allison had come to visit them for a few days after spending time with Claire and Vanya had taken time off from her violin classes. So for the first time in months, the entire family was there. Five had brought Delores, Klaus was with Dave, and had learned how to make both Ben and Eudora corporeal so she was with Diego, Allison was talking to Vanya and Luther was eating a donut. 

Everything was going perfect until it wasn’t. A handful of assassins showed up at the diner and started shooting around. The Hargreeves immediately fought back, having trained to fight bad guys since they could walk, fighting was ingrained in them. 

Klaus yelled at Dave to take cover. He knew his boyfriend was a veteran, but Klaus worked hard enough to bring them both back alive and he wasn’t going to take any chances of losing him now.

Dave, of course, didn’t listen and grabbed one of the assassins' guns before the man could shoot and hit him with it. Allison still couldn’t speak so she was using hand to hand combat to fight them along with Luther. Vanya was still learning to control her powers, so she tried to find cover and avoid using them unless it was absolutely necessary. Diego had her back and was by her side throwing knives —that he always carried around as if those were his safety blanket— Five was blinking all over the place, transporting himself across the room while Klaus fought and put apart a gun in a matter of seconds before moving onto the next. 

The assassins kept appearing, each time someone knew, and they were ready getting tired of it. So, Klaus stopped his combat way of fighting and concentrated enough to make Ben corporal again—he was getting the hang of it, but it was more difficult under stress. 

Ben appeared and started using the Horrors to end them. It seemed to work, because in a matter of seconds the men were retreating. However, one of them seemed to hold a grudge and before he retreated, he managed to aim a headshot at Five, however, Klaus saw it just in time and jumped in front of his little older brother. 

Everything happened simultaneously in slow and fast motion. Allison and Luther saw the man shoot and before they could stop it Klaus was already falling down. Vanya screamed, which made the walls of the place rumble and she choked on a sob trying to control her emotions, so she didn’t accidentally restart Doomsday. 

Five metaphorically saw red and quickly blipped to the man who shot his sibling and twisted his neck in a swift motion. Ben had ceased being corporeal but was still there, wincing at the sight of his sibling dead once again. 

Meanwhile Diego and Dave calmly made their way to Klaus’ body. They hated to see him die but they knew about his low-key immortality so they knew they just had to wait, and he would be back. He was always back. Neither of them voiced their concerns as to the possibility that one day, God might keep him there for good, but they thought about it. 

“Those imbeciles.” Five muttered and started pacing around. “They know it’s like signing a goddamn death warrant if they mess with my family.” He grumbled. “I can fix this. I have to fix it. I can send us back in time. it's risky but it could work… I just have to find the right equations...” Five started to mutter more to himself than to the others. 

“Is he-” Luther gulped, not finishing the sentence. He didn’t  _ have  _ to ask, he could see the oozing, bloody hole in his sibling’s forehead. He just didn’t want to believe it. 

Allison hugged Vanya protectively as the smaller woman hid her face on her chest. Allison was ready to murder everyone who had to do with Klaus’ death. She spent too little time actually being a good sister to him and he deserved better. 

She noticed Diego nor Dave seemed heartbroken and were just frowning. “What the hell. Your sibling,” she pointed accusatory at Diego, “and your boyfriend,” she pointed to Dave. “Has just been murdered and you just look mildly inconvenienced? What is  _ wrong  _ with you two?” 

Diego glared and snapped at his sister. “Of course, I’m worried. But it’s okay, he will be okay.” Diego tried to explain. 

“ _ Okay _ ?” Five glared in anger. “Does that look fucking  _ okay  _ to you?” He looked at Klaus’ corpse and hid all emotion that was threatening to leak from his face. 

“He will come back. He always comes back.” Dave said, sounding tired and worried. 

Vanya frowned and crossed her arms defensively. “What do you mean?” 

Before he could explain Klaus gasped for air and winced at the currently healing bullet hole in his head. “Ah shit.” He looked down and saw his shirt was covered in blood. “This was my favourite shirt.” Klaus pouted. 

Dave immediately broke into a grin and hugged him. “No more dying. It’s going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” He murmured. 

“I’ll try my best. God seemed pissed this time… I think I might be definitely on her bad side now.” He thought out loud. 

Dave snorted. “You’re only getting that now?” He teased lovingly. 

Diego patted him on the back and then gave him a quick hug. “Glad you’re back, bro.”

Allison, Vanya, Luther and Five were staring open mouthed at him. “Can someone explain to me what the hell just happened.” Luther said. 

Five caught on to the situation quicker than the rest and began asking questions at the same time. “Since when can you come back from the dead? How did this happen? Is this something that you always had or was it the result of something else? Sort of like Luther?” 

“You came back.” Allison was shocked. 

Klaus winced at the noises and rested his head on Dave’s shoulder. Dave knew how hard it was for him to come back from the dead, so he quieted everyone down. “Hey, dying and coming back takes a toll. He can answer questions but without all the noise. So, be quiet.”

When everyone quieted down Klaus sighed. “Thank you,  _ dein bruder appreciates _ it.” He gave them a flashy smile and began to answer all their questions. As he explained his power, they all began to leave the diner, wanting to go back to the Academy to rest after the day they had. 

By the time he explained everything they were already back at the academy and Klaus had gotten some ice on his head. Sure, the bullet wound was healed but he had a killer headache because of it. 

“So, you’re immortal?” Allison tried to wrap her head around it. It was a lot to take in. 

“Not really, I can die. It's more of a super healing?” Klaus was thoughtful for a second then he barked out a laugh. “It’s like ultra-healing on steroids.” He thought it was the best way to explain it, he was hilarious. Five did not think so though. . 

“So, you essentially can die and maybe one day you won’t come back? How does that work?” Five frowned and wrote down all the ideas and equations he came up with to try and explain Klaus’ power. 

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. It happens and so far, it has worked out and I really don’t want to think about it.” Klaus dramatically sighed. “So, you can keep your math, but I will go watch a movie with  _ mon Cherie _ and eat some waffles.” He began stretching before standing up and leaving the place. He brought Dave with him and halfway through the staircase the siblings heard a delighted gasp. “Ben is right, we have to watch that movie. I can’t believe I still haven’t shown you Shrek, it's a classic and you will love it.” 

The other five siblings shared glances among them and stifled a laugh at Klaus’ usual antics. They still had so many questions, but they would ask them later. Klaus was happy and alive, and they were all tired. They could always ask them later. 

They all left to their respective rooms to follow Klaus’ example and rest, while Five made himself a margarita and enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere that was for once created in the house.

**Author's Note:**

> I always had the headcannon that Klaus would not trip with heels on so it was Reginald who did it, that story never seemed right to me. Also Klaus absolutely loves the movie shrek and no one can convince me otherwise. 
> 
> What did y'all think? Comments and kudos are appreciated and encouraged!  
> Also big thanks to @AppalachianApologies for motivating me to write this and listening to me ramble about the plot even though she hasnt watched the show, she is the real MVP. Credit to her for coming up with the phrase "Ultra healing on steroids"
> 
> Find me on tumblr @BrightTerror


End file.
